I am currently taking an off in my intervention with mortal affairs. Substantial amount of time is needed for my mind to ascribe the implications of the learning I have gathered for seven years. Indeed, I am in reflective state right now, assessing things that I had been through.
I had been grateful that the great Chronos allowed me to have a short moment with a mortal man who had opened a new horizon in my journey. If not because of this encounter, I had been lulled in the hammock of complacency and undirected happiness until now. This inevitable event had pained my mortal psyche but somehow awakened by inner immortal soul to clearly see the goal of my journey. I cannot deny that I love this handsome young lad. However, I can’t assert my will because I have this high reverence of individuality, as you have taught me. Sweating on this matter will just lead me again to the foggy countryside forever tending my sentimentality like a baby. So I have decided to put this feeling in some remote but accessible area of my heart. If the right moment will come, then I will go back to it and let’s see what Philotes had laid out. My heart is ready to face two possibilities at the end of this line. It haunts me from time to time, but I am trying to ignore whatever idea seeded by Elpis.
Morpheus was trying to communicate to me for several nights, sending some messages that I could not clearly decipher. I was not sure if they were from Hope or from Despair, or maybe from Albina. But I was very sure that Eros was heading the conspiracy. For now, I find them so troublesome because they are causing instability in my dispositions. My mortal side is gnawing me. Things like this must not be given attention, especially right now that I have recognized the promise I made to Prometheus and Lucifer. And I am determined to fulfill the destiny intended by Coeus for me. Thot will definitely agree with what will be the course of my journey. It can be perilous or exhaustive, but Destiny left me no choice. I need to go through this journey.
As much as I want to master the encyclopedia of human emotions, I don’t have the luxury of time to do it. Maybe Chronos can extend my stay, but this has no guarantee that I can master them all. Existence of human emotions had created a great disparity in my learning points. Only one path can lead me to my goal, and this time I can no longer compromise the end of this journey.
I have been babbling a lot but I have not told you yet of my purpose why I wrote this letter. Well, I just simply miss you. I miss everyone there in the Expanse, especially my beloved Adonis. I cannot send any message to him for Zeus won’t allow me to do it, as part of the bargain of experiencing mortal life. You are my closest friend and right now, I am reminiscing our days when we were together. I also miss Elysian Fields.
I was supposed to write a poem, entitled “Bus Ride”, to capture the events I spent with this young lad. However, while thinking of the lines, instead of detailing my hours with this lad, my mind soared to the remote part of my memories, opening up all the suppressed records of our days in the Expanse.
I would like you to know, that I am determined to go back there. When I left the Expanse, I told you not to write because it will affect by education of the mortal ways. However, I realized now that I deeply need your companionship. I need to look back, and capture the moments when we were having fun, when we were young and ambitious. This is the only strength that fuels my keenness to conquer the obstacles along my journey. Our past is the only motivation that pushes me back to my track.
Seth, I miss you so much. Please take care of our Adonis. Chronos knows the time when I will be back there. But for now, it is my conviction to join both of you and continue our Saturnalias and happy moments.
Till we meet again. With all my love.
The Soulmaker.
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