Seven of Nine

“We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”

That’s what I used to believe. My life was devoid of emotion, of the so-called human sentimentalism – affection, romantic love, hatred, anger, hope and pain. I was Seven of Nine of the Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One. My mind was programmed to follow the concise steps of mathematical logic geared to one goal as set by our Collective consciousness and that is to improve the quality of all species, to achieve perfect creation, the union of organic and inorganic, the fusion of life and non-life.

Now, they call me Annika, as I was first called by Capt. Janeway. They baptized me with that name after several regenerative processes I had undergone just to restore the humanity in me. For several years I had learned a lot about me, as a human being, as someone who is vulnerable to the effects of unstructured chemical reactions within my body. At first I thought I would be strong because of the shield I developed from my Borg’s life against emotions and irrational actions. But, I yielded to their cosmic strengths. I thought I would be happy that I became human being but now I regret it.

I loathe humanity.

They taught me to hate, to be pained, to get angry, to be stubborn, to be irrational, and to love. Chakotay is dead now, the only person who showed me the bright future of this species, who showed me that no matter what the universe is still beautiful. He is gone now and not here with me anymore. I am longing for his arms, his warmth, for his non-existence, had cast shadow in my existence. The sun is no longer there and I am cold.

I loathe humanity for letting me to know all these emotions.

Everyday, I am beginning to understand the Queen Borg. Emotions make human beings fragile, vulnerable and imperfect species. I miss my Borg life. As a human I can feel the never ending piercing pain in my heart. It hurts me for unknown reasons. I am feeling weak. And this makes me loathe the whole humanity. Why can’t I be indifferent to this kind of feeling? Why?

I want to claim my Borg life again. I want to bring back the time when I am not affected by any human frailty. I want to see me assimilating them so that they won’t feel pain anymore, so that they will forget the excruciating pains of life, so that they may live in accordance to logic and rational thinking.

I want to bring life to human beings, to homo sapiens, which is devoid of emotion.

My Borg life is the simple way I know about life. This is the basic way where I can find my future. I can still appreciate the beauty of human emotions, but will be never moved by them again.

I loathe humanity for they brought emotions in my life.